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Kaiser's Korner of the World


Kaiser's thought for the Day

MESSAGE OF THE DAY:

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.  Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap the    motherfucker upside the head... !!!!

 

 


Driving in T&T

TIPS AND TRICKS WHEN DRIVING IN :- Trinidad and Tobago

1. The shoulder of the road is another lane used by
"Smart people". It is not an area set aside for emergency purposes only.

2. 0 to 100 MPH is required when moving from one speed
bump to another over a short distance. Hitting the speed
bump at that speed is also acceptable.

3. Traffic light meaning: A Green traffic light means GO!
An Orange or amber traffic light mean Speed up and Go
faster! A red traffic light means speed up and go even
faster and pray no idiot hits you!

4. A pedestrian walking across the street is a moving
target to be hit at drivers discretion.  WARNING These
targets may cause injury to car and pocket.

5. When passing in your car you see a friend or a close
relative, stopping the car in the middle of the road
to talk is full acceptable. Forget traffic they shouldknow to go around you.

6. No space is too small for your car to pass through to
get into an open space ahead of the line.

7. The more you drink the better you drive.

8. If you have to give another car a bad drive make sure
it's a Maxi taxi or a regular taxi.

9. No speed is too fast when driving on the Highways hey
there are no cops around anyway.

10. An indicator signal is not necessary when turning a
corner once you are going fast enough, besides the person
behind you does not need to know when you are going to turn to slow down.

11. Road signs are forms of decorations not to be taken seriously.

12. All drivers must drive with high beams on at night.
Risk of blinding other drivers on the road is non-applicable.

13. Animals walking across the roads are moving targets
that may be hit at drivers discretion WARNING These
targets may cause injury to car and pocket.

14. The middle finger is an expectable hand signal in Trinidad and Tobago.

*P.S. NEVER DRINK AND DRIVE!*

 



 

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on.

He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.

So he called one of His best angels and sent the angel to Earth for a
time. When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is
bad and 5% is good.

Well, he thought for a moment and said maybe I had better send down a
second angel; to get another point of view.  So God called another
angel and sent her to Earth for a time too.

When the angel returned she went to >God >> >and told him yes, the
Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good.

God said this was not good. So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were
good and He wanted to encourage them, give them a little something to
help them keep going.

Do you know what that E-mail said?

You didn't get one either, huh?


You know it is time to get a life when :

1. You wake up at 4 O'clock in the morning to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way back to bed.

2. You turn off your computer and get an awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

3. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free internet access.

4. You laugh at people with 28.8 modems.

5. You start using smiley's :-) in your snail mail.

6. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word
processor.com

7. You can't correspond with your mother because she doesn't have a
computer.

8. When your email box shows "no new messages" and you feel really
depressed.

9. You don't know the gender of your three closest friends because they have nondescript screen name and you never bothered to ask.

10. You move into a new house and you decide to "Netscape" before you
landscape.

11. Your family always knows where you are.

12. In real life conversations, you don't laugh, you just say "LOL, LOL"

13. After reading this message, you immediately forward it to a friend!

  


 

 

 

 

 

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Contents

This is a collection of some of the shit this guy has sent me over the past few months. I hold no responsibility for the content here, but I gotta say I found it funny as hell ! Anyway, you decide for yourself. I am not responsible for anything here. If you have a problem with it write to Kaiser himself.